Control

Lets consider “control” an umbrella term. Qualities such as (but not limited to) stability, consistency, security, and order fall under this umbrella. It is completely understandable that we would seek these qualities in our lives. Life can be busy, chaotic, and messy! However, control so often tends to be a dichotomous concept. Either we perceive ourselves to be in control or out of control. Such an all or nothing perspective can be highly problematic. Rather than holding firmly to control, I want you to consider the concept of INFLUENCE. Through Influence we recognize that we CANNOT have ultimate control over many aspects of our lives (especially other people!), but can make choices and take impactful actions that DO affect our lives. Influence acknowledges our limitations and allows us to approach ambiguity and uncertainty with less resistance.

Recognizing that control is the problem is part of the healing process for those struggling with eating disorders, disordered eating, perfectionism, and more. Letting go of control takes intentionality. Next time you find yourself seeking to control a situation in which you lack control, consider asking yourself “how can I influence this situation?“